i just need somewhere to let everything out. one of my very good friends killed himself 2 days ago becuz of being bullied. he was the sweetest and cutest little kid ever. we became very close at the beginning of this year. he was 14 years old. this kid loved making people happy. he would always come jumping into the classroom cheering everyone up. i just wish all the signs and balloons on his locker and around the school would just disappear. he needs to get into his locker to get his books for next class! he cant get his locker open with all of the posters and balloons!!:'( i miss him sooo much! he was a very good soccer player and has been playing ever since he was 4 years old. i wanna see him in his uniform just one more time. just walk up to me one more time. i just wanna see him agian. this is not fair to anyone. no one should be bullied. i could never imagine a silent school full of thousands of kids. this is a small town so every1 knows every1. i thought that maybe this would change how other people treat others. i thought maybe this would make people think twice of how they treat others. well as of the last 2 days that has not changed. it hurts so bad just to think that someone killing themselves over people being mean doesnt change them. it has seemed like the girls have changed but the guys havent. i understand guys dont like showing their emotions but if this is whats gonna happen then they need to. something needs to happen so that we dont have to go through this again. this was the first suicide in our school in over 30 years. we were doing so well. bullying tests and surverys and presentation are now really showing. i really hope people start to change. i miss conor sooo much! i want his name to come across my screen just one more time! i just want one of those "cheer up buttercup! itll all be ok" txts. thats all i want. i wanna see his shining blue eyes just one more time. i want him to come out of no where and hug me like he did. just hear his voice at the other end of the hall yell i love everyone!
its been a rough 2 days. everyone misses him like crazy:( facebook has been depressing to get on becuz every1s so sad. comforting all the crying kids has been so hard. ive tried to be as strong as i can and just be there for anyone and everyone. its so hard not to cry when every1 else is. i have gotten no sleep and i havent had anything to eat.
he killed himself tuesday night around 5 pm. that day he was the happiest kid in the world. he didnt act any different. i got my hug and he told me he loved me. i never thought anything would happen. i had been txting him and the very last txt i recieved from him was at 4:59 p.m. saying i love you and i dont want you to ever forget that. then the sirens started going. he shot himself in the head but ended up surviving 4 hours after that:( he died and they brought him back. then his parents decided to just pull the plug becuz he was already brain dead and they thought he was meant to be with God. once i got the call my whole life turned around. i didnt want anything to do with anyone.
bully in my school is out of control even tho we have Rachel's Challenge and a Zero Tolerance policy. there are certain people who think they r all that and hurt everyone else. then there r people who r like conor who dont care what anyone thinks until it gets overboard.
i wish i could have been a better friend and fixed all his problems. he didnt deserve this. no1 does..im bullied all the time!! but ive decided that people can think what they want and im not gonna care. i like me the way i am and thats the way it is.
i ask every1 to plz pray for conors family(mom, dad, and older sister). this isnt easy on anyone. also i would like to ask you to plz pray for our community. this is the second death of a student in a week.
dijon was killed in a car accident on saturday night. he was a wonderful kid but he was older than me so i didnt really know him that well. he was an amazing football and basketball player. he was dedicated to everyone and everything! dijons funeral was today and his wake was yesterday. its been very hard on all of us students.
the driver of the car, marcus, was injured pretty badly but was released from the hospital today. he is doing very well for just being injured. everything is starting to come back to him and he does understand what has happened with dijon and everything. we are all praying that he will return to normal life very soon. he also is amazing at basketball and football. i had to just went to their last game of the season friday night. never thinking anything like this would happen. they were both seniors and were going to graduate in june. hopefully marcus will make it back and will be able to graduate in june.
i just ask everyone to pray for conor and conors family as they try and get through these hard times, dijon and dijons family as they try and get through these hard times as well, marcus for his long recovery ahead and that he is able to get back on track, and also this community.
thanks so much,
RIP CONOR!!<3 i love you sooo much and i miss you. everyday gets harder and harder but im pushing through becuz u taught me to never let anything interfere with happiness. if only you could see all of this love! you will never ever be forgotten!<3 you have got to be the most precious and cutest angel up there! plz look out for me, your family, and the rest of the people greiving<33
RIP DIJON!!<3 i didnt know you that well but from what i knew you were an amazing kid! keep up that pretty boy swagg up there for me! i love you!<3 keep looking down on us!<3